Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Not So Good

I haven't talked much about my panic attacks in a while mostly because I haven't been having them as often. Today though I was hit hard. I know for those who don't experience them, this will all seem very silly. Trust me. If I could snap my fingers and make them go away, I would.

I had to wake up early this morning after not sleeping well last night. My car has been acting up and we had to get it to the mechanic's before hubby went to work. (He's on split shifts again this week and goes in later and comes home later.) I've been doing a lot better with handling things like this. They don't throw me for loops like they used to. But for some reason this morning it got the old panic going.

We stopped at Walmart on the way home and the panic got worse. I had to leave the store and go wait out in hubby's car. When we got home I figured maybe I just needed to catch up on the sleep I'd lost so I went to bed and fell asleep watching TV.

When I woke up later it was still there. I felt almost immobilized. I took the dog out for a short walk and got panicky being outside. I came in searching my mind frantically trying to figure out how to get past it. Not finding anything, I grabbed a blanket, turned on the TV in the living room, got comfy and fell asleep again.

I'm just going to do what I can to get beyond this episode. I know it won't last forever. It never does. *Snapping my fingers* Nope.. still doesn't work.

I write this in case anyone else is going through this they won't feel so alone.

16 comments:

Misty Dawn said...

I love you! I wish I lived close enough to come over and sit on the couch with you and watch tv and b/s, cry, laugh... whatever we need to do.

Tammy said...

I've been there before and I know it isn't easy. I wish a snap of the fingers would help, but I know it don't. When they happen to me it takes a while to get out of it, but things eventually do get better. I'm always here if you need me or wanna talk. HUGS Tammy

JaniceNW said...

My friend,

You are not alone. I don't get attacks so much but I have dealth with them. HUGS. I am always here if ya need me!

Christie O. said...

i'm sorry! i never knew what panic attacks were like until i started going through them after the baby was born. i still get them sometimes but they go away pretty quickly now most of the time. i'm sorry you go through this! it's awful!

katherine. said...

I have found snapping my fingers doesn't work for ANYthing...damn.

Hope you get beyond this episode soon...

{{{{Miz Skit}}}}

Vixen said...

I can't say I have felt what you feel, but I can identify. My husband suffers from the same problem and the only thing that works is sleeping. At times he can go for days, only waking for a bit to eat. I have learned how to accept and help him get through it. The kids have a terrible time and cannot understand it. As they mature, they get more accepting even if they can't understand yet.

Hold on as best you can and know we are here for you.

Mike said...

I'm here for you :)

Mountaingirl said...

Been there, done that :-( although my thing isn't being outside so much as seeing or being near people. And touching someone (no matter how close) used to have me climbing the walls - internally if not externally. Fortunately I don't have them very much any more - something I didn't even really think about until your post reminded me of the 'bad times'.

Irishcoda said...

Those of us who have panic attacks know they're not silly and you can't just will them away. Every once in a while I get a real mind blower too that just leaves me shaking and trembling. I'm sorry that you're having them now and hope that they subside soon.

Sassy Mama Bear said...

It's hell isn't it. And you don't know always what triggered it to hit when it did. I hope this passes quickly...I wouldn't survive anymore without medication. I felt bad at first because I needed it, but I realize now it makes me no less a person to admit I need that help. I need to function. Sending you my most comforting Mama Bear hugs because I know, I really do.

LadyBanana said...

Hope you're feeling yourself again soon... :)

jenn said...

(((hugs)))

. . . Dallas Meow . . . . >^^< . . . said...

Love you skittles.
When it hits me - I tell myself too, it really doesn't last forever. Like a wave, I gotta just ride it sometimes.
I saw a drawing or something, showing a calm woman, captioned, what people see when you are calm.
Then a frazzled woman, captioned, what you think they see when you are having a panic attack.
Then the calm one again captioned, what they really DO see when you are having a panic attack.
---
Last month I had one at walmart. Almost did not make it home.
I slowly made my way to the dressing area and looked in the mirror.
True - I looked 'normal'. No one could tell I was on the verge of hysteria and collapse, or that I was about to take up residnece inside the nearest rack of women's sweaters.
Took me two hours but I got a ginger ale, a french roll and made it to the checkout, then sat in my car until I could drive.
[I get nauseous if I cannot lay down]
Wish I was there, take care. I am glad for your hubby being there.
{{{hugs}}}

Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife said...

I'm so sorry to hear you had a rough time(S). My thoughts are with you!

Sonny said...

Barb, you're defenitely not alone. I don't suffer from panic attacks normaly, but for that my final exam to become an office manager is in only 2 weeks I know what you're talking 'bout. I got panic attacks on and off whenever I come to my desk and see all that stuff I still have to go through to check if it's all in my head allready...
I could cry....

So, you're not alone my friend.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}
&hearts Sonny

bundle-o-contradictions said...

I've not experienced that kind of thing in a long time, but I've been struggling more & more with the urge to not leave my bed. It's like it's suddenly become a safe haven from everything I'm not up to handling right now (pretty much everything) and sleep is escape...even though dreams are messin' with me. Seriously, if this gets much worse, I'm gonna have to take another Incomplete in school & file another case with my employer just because I can't bear to leave my bed. Docs & meds don't really seem to be helping, because they keep wanting to test my blood @ horribly inconvenient times & I can't get out of bed to get there! (See the catch-22 there?) Ugh. You're not alone, either, my friend. ((((((((hugs))))))))