Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Manners

When I was growing up I was taught to say please and thank you. (When a gift was involved, we wrote a thank you note.) I was taught to remember important dates like my parent's birthdays and anniversary and to send a card or, at the very least, to make a phone call.

What happened to those days?

Naturally there have been a few birthdays come and go in my family since the beginning of the year. I have recognized all of them with a card (with a small monetary gift) and/or phone call. I'm sad to say I have not been thanked for some of them. In a few cases I'm not even sure if the cards I sent arrived at all, but I suspect they did.

My mom has a philosophy she goes by. If she doesn't get a thank you of some sort, next year nothing is sent. Granted she sends a lot more in her cards than I do, but should that matter? Really? Isn't it just plain common courtesy to say thank you?

Or have times changed that much?

Maybe handwritten notes are not the thing to do anymore. An ecard would be nice. So would a mention during the phone call I make. Or an email.

Sigh.

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This post was brought to you by: MBT shoes.

9 comments:

Shannon H. said...

I think people should say thank you no matter what! If someone takes the time to wish a happy birthday it is common sense to say thank you.

Vic Grace said...

A lot of the little courtesies are disappearing now. The one that bugs me is people sitting when there obviously a very elderly person standing or a pregnant woman. I always give up my seat and I am 61. I don't think manners are taught any more.

bundle-o-contradictions said...

I used to be really generous with people. I stopped doing so for that very reason. We (I) send stuff to those who acknowledge it. Needless to say, our holiday/birthday/anniversary shopping lists are very small. Hey, at least it saves us $!

Lucy said...

boy do I agree with you skits!
I feel times have changed TOO much. Acknowledging a card or gift is just the 'right thing to do'. I keep sending them anyway, but maybe I will get to a point like your Mom, where I will stop.'
good post!

Erika said...

This is how I usually roll...

Thank you cards are for occasions that call for a party... Wedding stuff, baby showers, graduation gifts/parties, birthday parties. Why? because you invite people who wouldn't automatically give you a gift. So you send a Thxcard to everyone who came/sent a gift as well as saying thx for making the effort to come and celebrate with u.

But if its just my birthday or an informal get together and a family member or a friend gives me a gift, I don't write a thank you card. Between the closeness... its really just a formality and doesn't really SHOW you thankfulness... (it's not just me my friends and family don't give cards either.) No hard feelings, because it's never a thought that crosses our mind!

Personally...I don't like getting thank you cards... It just makes me feel odd. I'd rather see someone using/enjoying their gift in the future.

I'm sure everyone does things differently!

Erika said...

(but I still thankyou... a lot!) it's not Like I'm thankful or ungrateful ;-)

Erika said...

hehe I keep wanting to add... my grandparents do send me a card every year... I always call to say thank you (and act surprised)! So yes, I do think your cards in the mail SHOULD be at least acknowledged!

masgblog said...

I wrote a post about this very topic a while back. I agree with you. In fact, there was a program on TV about how we have become a rude society.

I agree.

Mary said...

I totally agree with your mother. If there is no thank you, I would not send anything again. It is common courtesy to acknowledge even a card.

Just dropped over from Jeni's blog. Enjoyed my visit.

Blessings,
Mary