Tuesday, February 17, 2009

On My Mind

(Scroll down one post for today's Heads Or Tails.)

My (evil) stepdad has been stuck in my head for quite a few days now. This is not uncommon, for even though I've mostly dealt with the issues that came about from my association with him, I haven't forgotten him or what he did to me.

I cannot help but wonder at times how things might have been different if my dad and my mom had stayed together instead of divorcing when I was four years old. I can't help but wonder how things might have been different if my dad hadn't died when I was ten and custody was awarded to my mom and (evil) stepdad. (Even though the abuse started when I was on a visitation at the age of seven.)

These thoughts inevitably lead me to another man that played a part in my life. My mom's third husband, Frank. I was already moved out and married when she married him, so I never really thought of him as my "dad" but he was the only grandpa my kids ever knew.

They had a long and happy marriage.. twenty-five years I think. He passed away about eight years ago. I feel awful for not remembering the exact year, but I know the first trip me and hubby ever made to Florida together was so I could tell him good-bye. He was dying of cancer.

I try not to remember very much about my (evil) stepdad.. but I have so many wonderful memories of my dad and Frank.

I miss them both.

3 comments:

Misty Dawn said...

I'm glad that there was a Frank after the evil. Does that make sense... it probably doesn't.

I just mean that I'm glad there was good after the bad.... makes ya appreciate the good even more.

bundleocontradictions said...

I often wonder how things would have been if my dad had raised me instead of my mom, or if my uncle's family had adopted me. (They tried, but Mom wouldn't let them.) In the end, it comes down to the cheese: I am who I am because I lived through my life. I don't know if I'd like myself as much had it been different.

myrtle beached whale said...

I am glad you traded in the evil step dad for Frank. Two out of three ain't bad.