They say the best way to avoid a jinx is to knock wood. You can also cross your fingers behind your back when lying. (Another way is to not lie in the first place.)
I did some heavy wood knocking yesterday. Here's why.
For the last week or so I've seen a name and number show up on my Caller ID. National Reader something or other. I figured it was a telemarketer so I haven't been answering. Then I remembered I had sent in a funny thing one of my grandkids had said to Reader's Digest and thought.. hmm.. maybe it's them.
Yesterday curiosity got the best of me and I answered.
They asked for Mrs. Skittles and I asked who was calling, please? They said they were calling about her credit card. UGH. I thought I was done with those people but apparently they've changed their company name and number.. which I know by heart.
I said I'm sorry but Mrs. Skittles has passed away. Now I KNOW how bad that was. I KNOW you never lie about your grandma or someone being sick or dying because then it might happen. I was desperate to snip these calls in the bud now that I'd answered one.
They apologized. We hung up. I went to the computer room and as I was telling Mr. Skittles what had happened I was knocking wood. Or was trying to. I never realized how much wood in our home is not really wood. Lots of pressed board that I don't count as wood. I ended up in the bedroom where the furniture is all real wood and knocked on that for about ten minutes.
Not three hours later they called back. Maybe they thought I'd rolled the rock away and had returned. This time I tried to sound tearful and told them we'd just buried her (me) the day before. Can you believe this!!! They asked how I'd died. I said, "Surely you're not asking how she died?!?!" The telemarketer apologized for her question and for my family's loss. We hung up.
I went directly to the bedroom this time and knocked wood for another ten minutes. I hope I've avoided the jinx. I bet they'll call back... can't avoid that.
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In case you don't remember me posting the funny thing my grandson said.. the one I sent to Reader's Digest..I'll tell it again.
Me and Mr. Skittles were visiting my family across the state. One of our stops was at Second Son's house where two of my five grandkids live. We had brought a toy for them to share. If you know how five and three years old are about sharing you will know how stupid this was of us.
The five year old had his turn first. Then we said it was time for his three year old sister to have her turn. Reluctantly he passed the toy to her.. then he stood by watching her. It wasn't long until he started asking for his turn again.
After what we thought was almost the amount of time the three year old had had in relation to how long the five year old had had, I said when I counted to twenty five it would be his turn again.
He looked at me and asked, "Count you start at twenty?"
3 comments:
Oh my gosh - you are freaking hilarious!
I can't type long... gotta go get a towel and clean up the coffee I spit all over the keyboard ;-P
you doin ok?? haven't seen you today at monday crazy questions
and I haven't seen much of you for the kast few days...thought I'd better check on ya!!
When I can't find wood I just use my head.
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