I went out today. Oh yes I did. I wouldn't have except I had a dentist appointment.
I've not had any dental insurance worth speaking of since around 17 years of age and lived at home. First hubby had insurance from work, but everything had such a high copay I usually just made sure the kids were healthy and could see reasonably well.
I went to a dentist when I was mid 20's and had my wisdom teeth out. (That explains a little, huh?) They tried to put me under but I had a reaction to the drug and they had to give me oxygen to dissipate it. Looking back now I'm fairly certain it was a panic attack, not a reaction. I had no cavities at that visit.
The next time I went I think I was early 40's. I figured I was long overdue. Still no cavities, but I was told two were starting. That was a long time ago.
When I married Mr. Skittles (that's what I'm going to start calling him now) he did have good insurance. He still does. But going to the dentist isn't something most people don't look forward to and so I put it off and put it off. For almost three years.
I went today. I could not see the dentist because I don't have Mr. Skittles' social security number memorized and they needed it for insurance. I got tears in my eyes as I asked them to reschedule. I explained I have panic issues. I pictured her rolling her eyes mentally, but that was probably my imagination.
I left there and dropped off my prescription for Chantix then headed to Ohio for cigarettes. I see irony there, don't you? I'm going to quit. I just need some to get me to that point. Um.. I'm waiting for Mr. Skittles to contact his doctor for Chantix too so we can quit together. Uh huh.
On the way to Ohio I stopped at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes to get me to Ohio. Yeah, I know. But I had forgotten to bring the few I had in a pack at home and it had been an HOUR. The guy at the gas station made me give HIM the STFU look. (That doesn't happen very often.)
This employee of Sunoco gas started harping at me for smoking. THEN he went on to say people get addicted to food, too. He wasn't heavy buy I am, so I assumed he was talking about me. I backed my way out of the door. I thought about calling Sunoco but figured that might be the only job that guy could find and I didn't want him to get fired.
I made it to Ohio finally, bought us each one carton instead of two. I also got a fifth of pineapple rum and a little pack of cashews cuz I was hungry. I open the cashews on the way home and start imagining people seeing me eating and think I sure don't need to be eating. I eat anyway but not when cars are next to me.
Back in my town I thought about going to a pet store and got in the left lane so I could turn when I got close. Then I remembered my prescription for which I would need to be in the right lane when the time came to turn. Again I worried what people would think if I switched lanes again so soon and think I was lost or stupid. I waited until the cars who might have seen me either turned or gone past, then I changed lanes.
As I pulled up to the drive-thru window at Walgreens a good song is on the radio and like I said in my Heads Or Tails post, singing in the car is a good place for me to sing. It's not my turn yet so I'm singing and doing a little head bob thing. A person pulls up in the lane next to me.. the one with the cool thing that shoots up a tube. Yikes. Does she think I'm talking to myself and have twitches??? I still sang but like a ventriloquist with my mouth closed. No more head bobbing.
Home I go. I pull into a parking space but am kind of over the line painted on the pavement. I think to myself what the heck (didn't think heck) and got out. There's a guy out on his balcony. CRAP. He saw me park like that!!! I'm too embarrassed to get back in the car, so I duck my head and walk in my building.
I should print this out and show it to my psychiatrist. Oh wait. He wouldn't have time to read it in the ten minutes I get with him.
Is this how the Seinfeld show got started? A lot about nothing? Woohoo.. Maybe I'll get my own series!!! Wouldn't that just make me worry more? Probably. I better not shoot for the bright lights and stardom. I'll stay home and worry about going out again.