You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
- You get winded from knocking on the door.
- You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
- You ask for high fiber candy only.
- When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
- People say: "Great Boris Karloff Mask," and you're not wearing a mask.
- When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
- By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
- You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
- You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
- You keep having to go home to pee.
Your Witch Name is Samantha
Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble.