Wednesday, November 04, 2009

A Hard Decision

There is now an ad in the Detroit newspaper for our dog Hannah. It was a very (very) hard decision to make. It was based entirely on my mental health issues which puts a heavy weight on my shoulders.

I love her to pieces but I cannot take care of her when Mr. Skittles is at work. There's too much pressure on me knowing I have to take her out when he's at work. Sure, some days I will be able to but knowing I HAVE to whether I'm up to it or not is too hard on me. He suggested leaving her in her crate all day.. but that would be harder. Hearing her whine would just remind me of what a failure I am and that would make things worse for me mentally.

When we lived at the apartment, I could just stand at the edge of the patio with her on a long leash while she did her business. I can't do that here. I have to go down the front porch steps and walk her in the yard. That's a big difference for someone like me.

I think we're going to try to find a new home for our cat, too. I can't seem to remember to feed her or clean the litter box. Argh... failure! It's not fair to put it all on Mr. Skittles after he works a ten hour day. I can't keep having my daughter come over to help take up the slack.

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In other news, I started my new med last night. It's not adipex diet pill although I could surely use something like that. It's called Trileptal. It's got me all groggy headed today but I know from experience that will wear off. I'll cross my fingers it will. I was really nervous about starting it after my recent experience with Lithium.

Oh and about my psychiatrist. Most psychiatrists do med reviews that fast. The longest one I ever had was twenty minutes with a different psychiatrist. It's not a counseling session. Am I making excuses for not finding a new one? Maybe. I think next time I go in though I'm going to ask him to listen to me. Politely insist. See if it makes a difference. If not, then maybe I'll start looking around for another option.

3 comments:

. . . Dallas Meow . . . . said...

you're no failure - you've been a tremendous help to me!

Berni said...

I am sorry this must be very difficult for you

Queen-Size funny bone said...

although I would probably be dead by now without the love of my two pups they are demanding at times. If your not feeling well enough then it will also be best for the animals.