Monday, November 23, 2009

The Last Three Weeks

Mr. Skittles has gone back to work today after a three week layoff. With him only working three days this week before the Thanksgiving holiday though the time will fly by. More so for me than for him probably. This is a big switch from how things were before his layoff.

Before his layoff I was a blubbering mess. I couldn't think. I couldn't do the most basic things for myself or around the house. Before his layoff we were thinking about finding a new home for our dog.

A few days into the layoff I got put on a new psyche med. I'm sure that has a lot to do with how things have changed for me. Maybe I just entered an extended manic phase where I thought I was better. I think I think too much. Either way I know I've improved.

I feel closer than ever to Mr. Skittles. (That may have something to do with the Robbie videos. Just kidding.) I mean in that I can let him not be totally my everything. For example, I don't go all twitchy if he runs to the store. This takes a lot of pressure off him.

We were able to take a short vacation. Not to check out Blue Cross North Carolina but to Pennsylvania to visit the 9/11 crash site of Flight 93 and to meet our friend Jeni. Both were memorable in their own ways.

We have stairs so I can let the dog out without fear of panic. That's a biggie. My desktop has died but I'm thankful to have my laptop. Mr. Skittles is going to try a nondestructive reload on the desktop.

We watched several movies. Painted the hallway. I've returned to blogging.

I'm not saying everything has been peachy keen, either. I'M not peachy keen. I still have a lot of panic inside that will come roaring out if I push myself. I still get overly emotional about some things.

On my med review this last Saturday I was kept on the same meds and at the same doses. I was able to express my views and that was a good thing.


Nikki Neurotic said...

I'm glad you are doing a bit better.

angel6033 said...

As a fellow sufferer I am so gald to hear that you are better!! I know that it is never perfect! never 100percent, but just a little is alot...IF it would be ok with you at some point I would like to speak with you about anxiety and stuff like that, of course if you have the time and stuff. I have never met anyone with the condition I have. Anyway have a lovely night. :)

Jeni said...

Ya know Barb, I think the last paragraph of your post says it all! Meds that seem to be working much better for you -and being able to express your views too. Hope it all continues in this vein now.

Technodoll said...

Glad you are doing better! yey!