Before his layoff I was a blubbering mess. I couldn't think. I couldn't do the most basic things for myself or around the house. Before his layoff we were thinking about finding a new home for our dog.
A few days into the layoff I got put on a new psyche med. I'm sure that has a lot to do with how things have changed for me. Maybe I just entered an extended manic phase where I thought I was better. I think I think too much. Either way I know I've improved.
I feel closer than ever to Mr. Skittles. (That may have something to do with the Robbie videos. Just kidding.) I mean in that I can let him not be totally my everything. For example, I don't go all twitchy if he runs to the store. This takes a lot of pressure off him.
We were able to take a short vacation. Not to check out Blue Cross North Carolina but to Pennsylvania to visit the 9/11 crash site of Flight 93 and to meet our friend Jeni. Both were memorable in their own ways.
We have stairs so I can let the dog out without fear of panic. That's a biggie. My desktop has died but I'm thankful to have my laptop. Mr. Skittles is going to try a nondestructive reload on the desktop.
We watched several movies. Painted the hallway. I've returned to blogging.
I'm not saying everything has been peachy keen, either. I'M not peachy keen. I still have a lot of panic inside that will come roaring out if I push myself. I still get overly emotional about some things.
On my med review this last Saturday I was kept on the same meds and at the same doses. I was able to express my views and that was a good thing.
4 comments:
I'm glad you are doing a bit better.
As a fellow sufferer I am so gald to hear that you are better!! I know that it is never perfect! never 100percent, but just a little is alot...IF it would be ok with you at some point I would like to speak with you about anxiety and stuff like that, of course if you have the time and stuff. I have never met anyone with the condition I have. Anyway have a lovely night. :)
Ya know Barb, I think the last paragraph of your post says it all! Meds that seem to be working much better for you -and being able to express your views too. Hope it all continues in this vein now.
Glad you are doing better! yey!
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