Sunday, December 27, 2009

Smart Enough To Know

I'm not quite as bubbly as this octopus is. I wish I was. I guess you're smart enough to know I mean emotionally.

I'm stuck in depression again. Hence me being labeled as a chronic depressive person. Sometimes I can function with it sometimes I can't. Lately I can't. It seems like I'm afraid to do anything and everything. I can't even seem to write a coherent post.

I can act like I'm ok. I have lots of practice with doing that. I've even spoken with some of you on the phone recently and probably sounded just fine when in reality I was a mess inside. I try to go through the motions sometimes. Maybe if I act ok somehow I will become ok. That kind of thing.

Mr. Skittles has this week off and his place of employment has a layoff the first week of January. He's a good guy to have around when I'm like this. He's a good guy to have around at any time, as far as that goes.

Our Christmas Eve gathering was very nice. I was glad we went across the state to be with everyone. Good people, good food, good memories made. Christmas day was quiet for us back at home and was spent in our jammies.


angel6033 said...

so sorry to hear you are having some depresion again, I am glad that you have good ol' Mr Skitles though :).. Glad your holidays were good !

Grace said...

Sorry you're in depression again... gosh hope it wasn't because you talked to me... LOL

I'm working on getting you those web links... I haven't forgotten.

I see you say that you were a mess inside when talking to us on the phone... sometimes going through the motions are necessary and/or all you can muster.

Always thinking of you... and how freakin' couragous you are! Really!

Technodoll said...

The crappy weather that's been hanging around doesn't help... Sometimes you just have to ride the wave, feel what you need to, continue the meds, hug your loved ones and then the highs will pop up again. Promise :)

trover said...

I understand depression because it runs in my family. It is very hard to stay up and to function. I am on Zoloft and this helps me greatly. I also went to a councilor for about 6months and he was really great. If you can find a good one and I believe they are hard to come by.Trying to explain depression to someone that has never been is difficult. I know that without Jesus I would not get through sometimes. He is always with us. Luv