Sometimes when I'm as down as I have been it's easy to wonder 'why me'. Then I have to stop and think 'why NOT me'. There are so many people with problems worse than those of mine.
When I had my first mental breakdown and hospitalization in the early 90's I found religion. Oh sure it had been around me most of my life but I had never actually felt it. Never felt a real presence. It was in the hospital that I began picturing myself being a lump of clay in God's hands.
Just like a child will take some Playdoh and fashion something from it.. usually a snake.. (or was that just me?) I was able to picture myself in God's hands being smooshed and squished and reworked. I was able to take comfort from that image. Sure it was icky feeling. Being smooshed around like that. But I was in His hands, you see.
I recalled this during a phone call with a dear friend last night. I told her how I knew back then that I would come out of His squishing and smooshing and be better for it.
I will this time, too. I am in good hands.