I'm feeling better after my meltdown day before yesterday. Not all the way better but on the way back to what is normal for me.
After talking with a dear friend on the phone last night, I was able to kind of track the progress of the 'why' of it all. I hadn't seen for myself how things had piled up little by little. (Kind of like pounds will do if you don't have natural weight loss pills to help keep your weight under control.)
There are small things that still need to be resolved in my mind. I will face them instead of pushing them away. However there is one thing that cannot be resolved. I can't say what it is. I'll just keep talking about it with Mr. Skittles and my friend. Maybe coming to terms with it will have to be enough.