Take today for instance. I was straightening up the apartment. I walk into the computer room to empty the wastebaskets and I look at his desk. It's a mess and I start getting twitchy.
My husband is a wonderful man. He takes his dirty dishes to the sink. He carries the full laundry baskets for me. He even makes coffee and sometimes breakfast for me on the weekends.
I know with all his good qualities he has, him having a messy desk shouldn't be a big deal. But as I was finishing up my housework I was mumbling to myself, "Am I his wife or his maid..?" I tried to think of a polite (yeah, right) way to pose this question of him after he got home.
Then I had one of those revelation type thoughts.
I was able to recall all the many, many good points he has. How he loves me unconditionally. Never says a word when I go shopping and pick up some things that might not have been the best buy. Puts up with my mood swings. Takes up the slack after working a full day when I'm feeling weird/panicky.
I realized that if he wants to have his desk, his own space, be messy, then he is certainly entitled to it.