Thursday, November 20, 2008

Wife Or Maid

Sometimes I get irritated with my husband. I'm pretty sure he gets more irritated with me, but he just doesn't say anything. Usually. But anyway.. I used to be a lot more bitchy vocal about things. Now I'm trying to take some time and think things through.

Take today for instance. I was straightening up the apartment. I walk into the computer room to empty the wastebaskets and I look at his desk. It's a mess and I start getting twitchy.

My husband is a wonderful man. He takes his dirty dishes to the sink. He carries the full laundry baskets for me. He even makes coffee and sometimes breakfast for me on the weekends.

I know with all his good qualities he has, him having a messy desk shouldn't be a big deal. But as I was finishing up my housework I was mumbling to myself, "Am I his wife or his maid..?" I tried to think of a polite (yeah, right) way to pose this question of him after he got home.

Then I had one of those revelation type thoughts.

I was able to recall all the many, many good points he has. How he loves me unconditionally. Never says a word when I go shopping and pick up some things that might not have been the best buy. Puts up with my mood swings. Takes up the slack after working a full day when I'm feeling weird/panicky.

I realized that if he wants to have his desk, his own space, be messy, then he is certainly entitled to it.


Anonymous said...

Sometimes when I'm right in the middle of nagging,umm... I mean complaining to my husband about something he's done, it's like a light bulb goes off in my head and I really see him for the first time since I started talking, and then my heart melts and I tell him I'm sorry and kiss his gorgeous face. I think it's normal to go a little overboard sometimes with your spouse. Especially if you are together a lot.

ShannonW said...

You are so sweet Barb! I am going to take this post to heart and remember all the good things Steve does for me.


Rick said...

You're a good woman. My wife doesn't fuss about my messy desk either.

Anonymous said...

I had a recent similar revelation about Poor Hubby. His is soda. He'll drink part of a soda & put it in the fridge or leave it on the coffee table for eternity. Unfinished. I think about how much $ that is literally going down the drain & get...yes, twitchy is a great word! Then I thought: "Hey, it's partly his $, he can dump it down the drain if he wants!"
Clever link-up, btw. ;)

Shelby said...

I know I know.. husbands are dears, but you just get irritated sometimes. I know. I really do.


Lucy said...

SMART realizations like that one, will help u stay happily married! smart lady!

after midnight I am posting a tribute to my hub.
Yours sounds like mine, we are real lucky Barb. remember that small smart book.. don't sweat the small stuff? it's so true...INSTEAD PRAISE each kind thing he does and he will do even more.

roentare said...

Such a fun to read your blog. Great article

Akelamalu said...

I know what you mean Barb, but sometimes a little thing can just set you off can't it?

Misty DawnS said...

Ahhh - I think you need to come help me learn how to do this... sometimes it's hard.