Thursday, April 02, 2009


<-- Get it? Cap? Recap? Yeah, I know.. not as clever as I though it would be. Ah well.. I'm not feeling all that hot right now, so maybe clever isn't something I should try.

For those who read the post before this one, you may be thinking it's the side effects from starting that new med. It was yesterday, but today I'm down with what feels like a cold or the flu. And some side effects from the new med. Maybe flu like symptoms are a side effect. (Anyone want to look up side effects for Abilify?)

Anyway... I want to clear some things up. I've been prescribed about every psyche med under the sun over the past fifteen years or so. That's how long I've practically been under constant care of different psychiatrists. Before that it was more sporadic. I know how each one makes me feel.

I also know fairly well what symptoms I'm having will cause me to get a certain type of medication. I know what type of meds I get for depression, bipolar, borderline personality, anxiety, panic or psychosis. I have been diagnosed with each of those over the years.

The diagnosis depends on what's going on with me as much as it does with whatever psychiatrist I'm currently seeing. I'm not saying I know more than a doctor. I've just been in the system for a very long time and know what to expect.

I also know how I feel. I've mentioned this before, but I've been told more than once that since I'm able to articulate my symptoms instead of drooling and slobbering in a corner that I sometimes come off being more.. balanced than I'm actually am. This can help as much as hurt. It helps because I'm able to get across what's going on with me. It hurts because sometimes I'm not believed. (I have a few examples that I won't share at this point.)

I know there is an adjustment time while my body gets used to taking something new. I know most times the side effects will go away after a couple days or so. I know sometimes a new med can take up to four or six weeks to build up and fully work. (I know what meds those are, too.)

I don't mean to sound like a Miss Smarty Pants here. I'm just fairly certain my symptoms didn't warrant the script for the anti-psychotic med. In fact at my visit there was a lack of symptoms.

When I made that appointment after we returned from our vacation, I was a mess. I'd run out of the mood stabilizer I was on which was working when I had it. I had a lot of other emotions going on too that have leveled out since I got back on it.

I kept the appointment mainly because I thought it would be better to have a psychiatrist prescribed my psyche meds than my primary physician. (There is no counseling at the psychiatrist's office, by the way.)

Here's something else. Of course I never post ever single little thing going on with me, although at times it may seems like it. (Remember the bean soup post?)

With that in mind, I'll just say now that I know, without a doubt, that a lot of what's been going on lately has been situational. Things going on in my life that may or may not be resolved, but are things that would stress any "normal" person.

I hope this helps everyone understand things better. And I DO appreciate all the input. I really do. Through blogging I've found more support than I've ever had at any other time in my life. I love you guys!


I know my mention of adult school girl costumes last week generated some interest. (Ya pervs. Hahaha!) I bet equestrian apparel won't get as much.


Erika Jean said...

I hate doctors in general. Sometimes you just KNOW something is wrong or u got something from someone. When I was younger my mom walked into the Dr.s office with me, and said "I think she has mono" my doc was like "uh, doubt it!" well I'm sure he didn't say those exact words, but something like that. Anyway he took a blood test to humor my mom - and sure enough she was right! My point is... no one knows your body and mind like YOURSELF ;-) ...or you mom hehe.

So that's my little rant. I think the docors are often the "Smarty Pants". so they think hehehe


Well, I do hope you are feeling better soon!!!!!!!!

Carolina said...

Now, that Equestrian apparel link, thát I clicked on, cause that ís really interesting stuff. To me at least. Maybe you should have mentioned whips and leather boots ;-)

Hope you will feel better soon. Then you probably can handle other stuff going on in your life better too.
Hugs for you ;-)


What if you stop letting your prescriptions run out?

Would that help the roller coaster you tend to get on?

I do the same thing. Trust me. Mine is just for cholesterol and not for psyche stuff. (not that I probably don't need some).

Misty DawnS said...

I know most of what's going on with you, and I agree that a lot of it may be situational. I also think that sometimes when we lack that 'balance', the situational problems can seem worse or actually be made worse. It's a vicious cycle. Environment and situations play a HUGE factor in mental AND physical well-being, in my opinion.

For instance... I have this pig that sits on a shelf and stares at me and grunts threats at me... that can NOT be good for my mental well-being! Just sayin' ;-)