Friday, January 22, 2010

A Tool

Last summer when this picture was taken I was glad my head wasn't showing. I was so embarrassed at how I looked. I actually gained weight after that picture was taken. I know because I can't hardly fit into my jeans anymore.

Now I will use it as a tool.

This is DAY 5 of my new, improved eating habits. (Some people call that a diet, but not me.) I've been doing quite well and tracking my progress at FitDay.com.

My daily caloric intake is in a good range now. My carbs are almost where a nutritionist told me they should be for a diabetic. My body does not have an extended service plan after all.

But today I am feeling a bit depressed.

I stepped on the scales this morning two days before I'd planned to and saw I'd lost 1 1/2 pounds. That should make me happy. Should. Instead it reminded me of what a long and slow process this is going to be. And THAT brought back the idea that I might fail. To be honest it made me think I wouldn't be able to stick with this long enough and that I WOULD fail.

That's why I went digging for this awful picture. To remind myself of the WHY.

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No, I'm not watering the grass one little pitcher at a time. Hannah used to try to drink from the water pouring out of one and it was a lot less messy to do it outside.

9 comments:

JudyJ said...

Dear Barb,
I am so glad I found your blog. Life sometimes hands you more than you think you can handle, but believe me, you can handle this. Keep going and don't give up. You will make it. I say that to myself everyday that I care for my husband, and we do OK. I think you are wise not to call it a "diet". To me, that word causes more harm than good.

Misty Dawn said...

I think you are doing awesome so far, and I can completely understand how when you look at the big picture, you have panic, worry, and doubt about how long it will take. I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing, because that's not what we do in this friendship, but I hope that you can look at the 'right now', see how well you are doing, and take it one day... or one step at a time. I don't want you to 'predict' that you are going to give up and cause yourself to give up now... cross that bridge when or IF you get there. I'm so proud of you!

magill50 said...

of course you know what diet stands for...die with a t.....and you are nowhere near that

Skittles said...

Judy, Misty & Mau - Thanks for encouraging me. I need it!

Erika Jean said...

Good luck on your weight loss journey. I'm trying to loose some weight myself! (http://strangerssheddingpounds.blogspot.com/)

angel6033 said...

5 days and couting good!! ;) dont worry when you have your off days they will happen what matter is that you get back up and move forward to wards your goal. I can see how a picture like that would motivate you, I alos ahve used a picture before to help me. Stay strong and stay focused, you can do this!

MzEllen said...

Hi - I read every post you write (but in google reader). I don't live very far away from you (Grand Rapids) so this summer if you'd like a walking buddy once a week or so, let me know!

I also lose weight very slowly, no matter how I eat - I have PCOS so almost nothing works.

If you change your brain, your body might go along...I no longer think of it as "losing weight" because generally if I lose stuff I find them again.

I am releasing weight, letting it float away to where it belongs, as if I had caught a little wild bird and I'm letting it go to live with the other little creatures, never to be seen again.

Skittles said...

Erika: Ya'll are doing good over there!!!

Angel: I have to be realistic and stop trying to be PERFECT.

Ellen: Thanks for dropping by. I'm over by Detroit now. Long way to travel for a walk. But thx. =)

SilverNeurotic said...

1.5 pounds is really great! It's a long process, but your health is worth it. keep going at it and don't be afraid to ask for encouragement.