I probably wasn't the best mom in the world. Sure, I did a lot of things right, but I also did a lot of things wrong.
When your children are born, you aren't given an instruction manual. You do what you can with what you learned from your parents, grandparents, your friends and the media. You try your best to correct mistakes that your own parents made.
All too soon they are all grown up and off making lives of their own. You cross your fingers and maybe even say a prayer that what you taught them, the example you set for them, was good enough.
If anything, I think I've done a better job at being a mom of my now adult children. I don't interfere with how they raise their kids. I don't butt in with the way they spend their money. I don't criticize their housekeeping skills. I am still available to listen or lend a few dollars.
Basically, I've learned to let go. Sure they are still my children, but I try think of them (and try to treat them as) treasured friends. It's the same relationship I have with my own mom now.
But I've started to wonder about something. I don't think they think of me that way yet. The older treasured friend kind of thing. I think I'm still "mom." The same mom who built them up but also let them down. They haven't yet reached the point where they can forgive and forget some of the past.. something they might more readily do with a friend.
My children were not perfect. (I don't know of any who are, with the exception maybe of my grandchildren.) They provided me with many, many moments of happiness and pride. They also provided me with many, many moments of worry and heartache. It comes with the territory.
Now that they are older, I've put away the not-so-good memories. I choose instead to cherish the fond ones. I hope someday soon they will be able to do the same with me.
It irritates the hell out of them when I go public like this on my blog. I've tried my best not to do it when there were soooo many times when I could have. I believe part of the reason is that people will comment about how they should respect me more or treat me better.. the kind of comments one would expect on a post like this.
I'm at the point, at least for right now, when I feel like I don't have to censor every damn thing I want to say for fear of how they may feel as long as I don't get too detailed. I honestly can't recall when the last time was that one of them gave me the same consideration. When any of them put my feelings first.
I imagine after this post is read (and I know it will be thanks to sitemeter) that I will be once again put in the proverbial doghouse. It's not so bad there though. It's where hubby is. It's where all of you are.
No, I'm not "back" to blogging yet. I have two posts to do today where I have to mention links. The one for this post is natural acne treatment.