Thursday, December 23, 2010

Rough Patch

Well folks.. I hit a rough patch yesterday. A speed bump in my holiday spirit. I let my depression grab hold of me and I couldn't shake it loose. I started crying and could not stop.

I thought about self harm things but knew that was not the best option so I called my psychiatrist's office and waited for him to call back. I called Mr. Skittles at work and found out he was getting out earlier than I had expected and would be home soon.

Mr. Skittles was home by the time the psychiatrist called me. The doctor talked to me and heard what I had been thinking earlier and said he thought I should go do a voluntary admit at the local mental hospital. I was still crying but I said no. I would not spend Christmas in the hospital. Would not.

He talked to Mr. Skittles then for a while. Mr. Skittles said he had a short work day today and that I'm usually better when he's home. Doctor said he would work me in for an appointment on Monday. IF I get worse or have similar thoughts to what I'd already had though to take me in.

I've been in hospitals like that before and they're not happy places to be. They sure as heck don't have waterbeds like I'm used to sleeping on. I doubt they even have heated blankets.

So.. pray for me for a while or at least keep me in your thoughts. Believe me. I said some prayers on my own behalf last night.


Marie Anne said...

Barb, this is definitely the season for depressives to be at their worst. Been there, done that, and have been exposed to it on a severe level in those around me. I visited one of the wards at the VA daily when someone I cared for was there for almost 6 weeks. No, it isn't very pleasant, but sometimes it may be necessary.

I am adding you to my prayers. I know you know all about staying busy, focusing on other things, eating right, getting a little exercise and sunshine, so pretend I didn't just say all that, LOL. I will NOT, however, just tell you to 'get over it'.

If you ever need another hand to reach out to, mine is right here. Holler at me at Ldyjarhead @ any time.

ShannonW said...

Barb you are always in my prayers. If you need to talk my email is

I agree hospitals like that are not happy places to be.

Yvonne said...

Found your blog today. Love the video of dog Offers Milk & Cookies for Santa. Checked out some of your other posts. The drawing at the top of your blog is beautiful. Don't ever let other people's negative thoughts affect you. In one ear and out the other -toss that crap into the garbage can. I LOVE Christmas...the decorations and decorating, wonderful music, everything so it. Husband is working in Afghanistan, so my christmas is with my dog and 3 cats...they're great company. I rarely ever take my decorations down until sometime in March...looks too pretty to pack it all away too soon. Wishing you a wonderful Christmas...take care.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I'm a mess at this time a year and cry all the time even in the shower. We just cannot let it take control of us. Hope you feel better soon. Dig deep and I'll send prayers your way.

Nikki Neurotic said...

I hope you are feeling better now Barb. I saw on Facebook that you opened gifts today, so I hope that that's a good sign that you are feeling happier now.

Vivian said...

Praying for comfort
"I will not leave you comfortless
I will come to you
John 14:18

Annabel said...

i hope you can see good things again soon. i understand it can be awful. hope you have a merry christmas xx