As I was tossing around the possibility of depression this morning I remembered a song. A song that reminds me of another time in my life when things weren't particularly good.
Although I don't remember the exact year, I suspect it was around the early 90's. There was a lot missing from my first marriage. (Out of respect for my children, I will keep the facts fuzzy.) I guess I was getting to the point at which I finally arrived many years later. I was realizing I deserved, yes deserved, to be loved and appreciated.
Music has been my best and most constant friend throughout my life. This time was no different. One day when my kids were at school I sat on the floor of my living room between the two stereo speakers and blasted this song over and over.. and cried and cried. I made up my mind that I was going to leave my husband and packed a few things, got in my car and drove to my friend's house.
I left the stereo playing. Repeating this song.
I spent the night at my friend's house then I went back home. Nobody knew I'd been gone. My daughter said a couple days later she thought I'd gone to work because she smelled my hairspray and perfume.. things I always used before going to my second shift job.
nowhere to go and there's nowhere that she'd rather be.."
In 1999 I filed for divorce.